Feel | Dream | Live

LIFE??? It's really impossible to understand what really LIFE is...

I wonder why some people cannot be so unique and simple... If I were god,I would make my enemies to feel how I live my life,unlike them (wasting time to spy on others) Maybe that will help 'em to GROW UP! 

When thinking about my enemies,who stab about me and who don't like me (I don't know whether there are any who hate me) I always become angry with my life...

BUT...........

Really it is another destination... People come,people go...Some stay for a long time and some leaves too early...and good ones die soon,bad ones live long! That is what I've revealed about life... Sometimes It makes me crazy and happy sometimes....Sometimes I'm the best and worst as well... Truly life is a gamble of emotions,incidents and opportunities..When one door closes another one opens,but with difficult barriers!  Fast success never live long but slow progress with hard efforts does...

Some people say that everything happens for a reason..I strongly believe in that..Though bad things happen to us,time passes by those bad things become our weapons,advantages and knowledge! Isn't it amazing? Have you ever thought of these things I mention earlier... Some people ask *Why dream big?* and some ask *Why dream small?*

And the most important thing is we have to expect the UNEXPECTED!

I wonder this life is too short,because even 100 births won't be helpful to realize the true nature of this world and people..Isn't it?? 

Sometimes being serious cost us badly..Sometimes we have to fake our lives to PROTECT ourselves... Some people get their hands dirty to make others feel happy...

Some people try harder and harder but never succeeds,while some succeed without any big efforts? That's why LUCK is essential....! 

But whatever happens,do you try to quit,or to sleep without even trying..NO! isn't it? Because you know that one day you gonna make a blast! 

So isn't this life amazing?? 

Seriously,I was thinking about these things since a very long time...Still I'm searching for a conclusion... Still I'm fighting to make my life special..Still we are fighting to spend our days worth-fully... 

Have you ever succeeded? Or have you ever given up when you fail?

I guess a NO!

So do I!

This life is only a rest until we take another birth...For that small period of time why don't we take the max advantages of what we have...Without imitating others,without being revengeful,without depending on others how many of them try to create their own identity... How many of them are using their brains,hands and legs... So do I! Because the gamble of this game named *LIFE* won't help you to grow up twice!

 











Life is a delegate just like in our dreams...
It has no any beginning,an end as well...
It will make you a king,maybe a bum...
It can give you opportunities,where emotions depart...
It'll be the path to your fortune,when it will become the path of misfortune to someone else....
It'll create you more dreams,while trashing the others...
Whatever it will give you...chase your dreams till you attain 'em...
Because this life that you live,never comes twice! -Amashi G-

It's Simple in Capitals...

MyEveryday,it's a new story...

Everyday it's a new game...

Everyday it's a new chapter...

Everyday it's a new start...

Everyday it's a new destination...

But mostly It's a new step in my LIFE!

The life game is not kicking as it seems...It just need good shots and that's the key for the next level..The more you produce good shots,the more you stay in the game...... Am I just composing applicable things? I dunno maybe I am :) But these days are the most chaste and enjoyable days for me... During the past few couple of weeks,I was getting bored easily..So I was wondering of something untested and then I met one of my favorite friends named Hansi and she's living in India.They visited us for their holidays..So it was my chance to have an interesting conversation with her and as a result of that convo,I learned so many things about India..About Indian culture,festivals,food and blah-di-blah....I always wanted to learn more and more about Indian food due to few reasons..Specially because me and my mom both are vegetarians and it is really hard to manage it in our home unfortunately with other family members..Hardest thing was vegetarians had no special food items to eat unlike non-vegetarians...Non of us knew to prepare different vegetarian food items,except the veg curries.. 

So Hansi told me a lot about vegetarian cooking and she made me a vegetarian cooking enthusiast..Also she told me to watch Vicky Goes Veg (An Indian tv show about veg cooking) So,what else it could be?? I followed all of those interesting recipe's in that show and started cooking alone..My mom helped me a lot...Plus cooking is  a nice activity for a woman and I'm not bored anymore! :)

So each and every day we learn a new recipe and we try to prepare it here at our home kitchen..Sometimes few of the recipe's went wrong..But the best thing was I learned something.... 

Today this blog will be all about food L0L!

These days I'm trying new things consecutively like writing new things,creating new stuff and so on..So I'm personally occupied these days..Also I'm having so many extra in mornings and I'm so fed up with studies...BUT! my hobbies never let me down :) 

I guess that it's enough for now.... :)

TTYL...

I'm dancing the dance of life!

If You Can't Be A Pencil To Write Any one's Happiness. Then Try At least To Be A Nice Rubber To Erase Every one's Sorrows....

 Well I don't know how to start from...But I have tonnes of things to share with you all! I haven't shared most of them with everyone... It's about few weeks after my 17th birthday and it changed me a lot.Actually in a much better way than I hoped of!

My birthday was really good,simple and enjoyable with my family and with my closest friends! I received more than 750 wishes from Face book and tonnes of other wishes! Also gifts that I loved to have! Those were the best memories of my 17th birthday! And also it was a proud moment! 

I feel the huge difference in me,I feel that I'm not the old Amashi who wanted to live for others.Now I'm living for myself,not for the others...Because I found nothing good in them and hopefully I realized it early,before something bad happens!

I feel really happy about myself..Because now I'm a different human being...But I haven't forgotten the things!

When talking about the usual topic my love life..As all of you know that mad guy Raj bothered me as usual...So I was out of control and I used every single insult I knew to explain how badly I hate him and NOW IT'S ALL OVER! I don't know what happened with him also I don't want to! Because I controlled my patience as I never wanted to hurt his feelings..But non thought about how I have felt during those episodes...Non of them did! So I had to finish the game started by him like that! He must be hating and cursing on me! I don't know about that because I have my own life to care about. I can't live for others anymore! Because though I never expected anything from them I wanted their company by me.That's the thing I never received from them! As I mentioned in the previous blog posts...Now I'm not a hyper-sensitive human being..But I suffer! But I never show! Because the more I showed my sadness to the world,the more I suffered! They have nothing to deal with my sadness..They only think about their needs..Not about mine!

When the R problem finished another problem came eventually..A guy whom I considered as my best fell for me and tried to win my heart with those silly love quotes words and blah blah...If I tell the truth,I hate him from the beginning as I didn't like his attitudes..They were really uncivilized and was really ridiculous...So accepting his love was just another joke! I tried to explain..But he promised me saying that he never gonna love anyone else...But suddenly I got a chance check his Face Book inbox and found a message that he has had with a girl..It was bullshit! I guess they were lovers because they have talked about the things that they shouldn't talk! Hope you all will understand and with that messages I realized the truth about that guy...He was trying to win my heart while he was having bad convo's with another girl..How stupid is that!! But it was really fun for me as I hate him..It's my chance now to prove the world how bad he is..Still I'm protecting my silent because I'm searching for the needed evidences..Ok this sounds really detective! Just like White Collar! :D

But everything happened taught me a lot more about the world..That though we know some people from years,they cannot be fully trusted..The only person you can be sure of is only YOU! Also the only one who can understand you correctly is YOU!!!! 

I wish that he could read this post anyhow... He might be thinking that we are fools..That's the fact that he got wrong about... I only accept decent and proud people..They make a good sense..Dignity is something I really appreciate about...

But It's good that I'm learning about the world without any one's help!  Also I have changed a lot about my self Plus I'm not searching for Love as usual!!!!! Because I have more paths to choose.... My writings are doing really well as Usual and I'm working as an article writer for few couple of websites...I finished my story Faded Vanilla Twilight unexpectedly because I felt that it's bad to spoil the good essence of the story by making it a saga! Now it has a sweet end unlike I thought!!!!

These days I'm managing my studies,writings and illustrations as well! I'm trying to write something really different from my previous collections also I have written first few incidents of the story but still I'm trying to add some difference to the story.... Also I have planned to start another blog named MEMOIRS OF AN UNKNOWN SPIRIT based on the what I feel about the life experiences that we all have!!! Hope that it will make a good difference to my writings as well as for me!

I don't have any idea either any big hope on my current efforts but I really hope that every new thing that I try will make me to learn more about this world! And I think that I have started enjoying the real meaning of LIFE! :)

The departing world of dreams!

My dream world is totally magic,
It can be fun and also tragic,
I look around and I all I see,
A big world surrounding me!

I jump to each lily pad,
Coming up with more and more ideas,
I say,
"No time for tears!"

My head is overflowing,
Everything is glowing,
Every idea pops out,
"Yay!" I shout!

My dream world is the best,
No time for rest!
But I close my eyes...
And fall asleep.

Without any efforts I let my impossible dreams to perish in silence for the well being of every one including myself... Though I took a long time to write,I don't have a huge stuff of things to mention today because more surprising things are on the way with my birthday which has planned to be hold on Sunday,next week..After my B'day I will get so many things to share with you all...  After having a rest..Again I'm back with my usual works Like writing,Blogging and blah blah....

I'm bit upset because I lost one of my best friends..But I must mention that it's not my fault... Each and every problem I faced started because of the word LOVE..So did this time... Guess that I don't have to drag out those past bitter taste memories in a lovely moment like now... But still I feel that everything is happening according to a perfect order though I lost one of my friends... I feel really bad with this unbelievable perfectness because I sense a danger near and near... I don't know why..But my sense of predictions always go accurate... Well my mom says that as I had a hard time during the recent past,my future will become really okay than this..I hope for the same..I need a simple life without regrets and heart breaks..Also I have tore off everything about guys from my mind... My only aim is to make my writings famous as well as to succeed in my education.... 

I really had a bad time with my school because,still they compel me to change the subjects that I've chosen for advance level..My mom says that its really unfair to compel a student like that... So according to every one..I'm facing the exams under private sector and I'm sure that I can score well.. I only spend 3 and half hours in studying now a day and I hope to increase it more and also I will reduce some time that I spent for my writings.... But I'm really happy because now my writings get so many appreciations... The best thing for me is,I have succeeded these things alone by my own..Non helped me..So I'm sure that one day it will become an weapon for my future life...Am I talking too much? :/ LOL yah I guess so..I have become some what filmy..But its quiet interesting too...

The best thing my life taught me was.. "Don't cry for the gone things..Try to protect what you have"

Now I don't hate my life for the lost things..I thank my life for teaching me to To bear,to compromise,to protect and to achieve correctly.... Life is not that much bad... Life is like an exam to test our strength physically,mentally and spiritually..Now I badly believe that I'm facing it well :)

My life won't be having any space for hatreds...and I never regret for loosing them,what ever they can provide me...

We won't get a second life!!

  Enjoy life as much as you can do since you will be forever dead
And just live for the now seize the moment and don't look back or too far ahead
You don't have to drink lots of alcohol for a good time strong liquor you ought not to swill
It can leave you feeling hung over and all next day feeling quite ill
If one worry leads to another why bother to worry at all
You may think that you have big troubles but compared to some your's only small
There are many far worse off than you and worrying will not get you anywhere
Your sort of worries would seem very little to many in the big World out there
You are not one who is homeless and hungry like many on poverty street
For one financially worse off than you are one would not have to walk far for to meet
You feel by life you are hard done by and your worries are getting you down
And you do not spread joy all around you when you walk the streets of the town
Enjoy life as much as you can do for you will be forever dead
And live for the now seize the moment and don't look back or too far ahead. 

I'm seriously experiencing a great time about my life....I don't know I'm bit afraid because everything is happening perfectly unlike before...Why everything is perfect like this? Some thing is going wrong inside that perfectness..But I couldn't figure it out... Maybe that's because I think too much..Life never gives second chances...So I started living it as happier as I can..Now I don't fight with people for small things..I just try to forget them as silly statements..But sometimes I sarcastically insult my hatred ones,only because they are too much..Except that there's nothing bad towards them :) I have so many things to talk about my crush..Everything has solved happily around him... But he went back to his home country..I don't like to mention about his personal information here..But one day I will.. :) Though he is not near...He phone me always... 

My life always gave me bad endings...But this time..It's different...!!! But I had a problem with one of the guys who came after me..Also one of my besties...He got angry a lot because of my late replies...I tried to control my patience..But as he was talking nonsenses also he was out of topic..I had to scold him..Now we are not friends..That's really good for me because I feel free with my new life style :)  

Also now I have a new set of friends,who are really good and funky..I really enjoy my time with them each and every time.. :) God please protect our friendships..Because this time I don't wanna do the mistakes that I did earlier regarding friends..Also I live according to people and their nature now..I don't talk with people much..Also I stopped roaming here and there :) Now I spend my time at home leisurely... 

 Also I met a new special friend from India..who help me every time with my problems.. I always appreciate his company with me and I hope that we can continue it forever..The most funniest thing is these days I get thousands of phone calls from unknown numbers...But I don't even answer for any phone call...Wasteful beings bothering others :(

Nothing special happens around me..But I have a big problem at my school because..my teachers compel me to change one of my Subjects..But I can't change any of 'em..So I'm not schooling until They give me a solution... 

My birthday is on July 31st and I'm nervous because I will be 17 :-)  

Love hurts when it's real!

Give me a hint,
Just one little clue
To let me know why
I have a crush on you
Don't make me feel silly
Or worse, even shy
And I'll listen to what you have to say
If you just tell me why
Is it the way you listen,
and talk to me,
Or the look on your face
When I do something silly?
Is it the cute habits you have unlike no one else
That make me wish I could have you all to myself?

My life was crummy some times...some times my life was simple and mirthful...But I couldn't hold it tightly under my control..I fall in love with some guys without thinking and knowing their truth! I blamed some,I scolded some..I cried..I laughed..I enjoyed...I got hurt..I did hurt some...I doubted about things..I trusted things... But everything went wrong..Everything was upside down..The every single piece I trusted did hurt me a lot..and the people whom I hate loved me and helped me a lot..LIFE is exaggerating isn't it? But as these things are happening like this..DO I HAVE TO RUN AWAY FROM THEM? No I don't think so..Every single thing which happened with me made me more stronger and stronger..and NOW,I think that I'm having a good time with my life... with a single hidden crush..and few couple of faithful friends and a simple normal life without regretting =) I waited for this movement from a long time and now because of my efforts..I'm having the simplest time of my life.... I'm mentioning these things continuously because now I can control my self..Now I have controlled my patience and compassion..Now I don't trust liars...cheaters..strangers..I don't forgive them now... :) Some might think that  unforgiving them is bad...But FORGIVING is a big enemy of me! The more you forgive some one let that some one to do that fault again and again..No one learn with out any bad result... :) 

I'm so happy about my self now..Now I don't live for others..Now I LIVE ONLY FOR ME! Always I tried to be so..But each and every time I tried..I FAILED! Because of trusting bad people more than needed...So I couldn't talk about myself proudly..But now It's been months and I have changed a lot...I can feel that change! I can feel the freedom inside me with out tensions and problems...Now I don't care a shit about the people who came after me...I don't care about their broken hearts..If they wanna go..Surely I'm ready to let them go..If they can't give me the things (Faithful friendship) that I need,what's point of considering them as our own friends? It's a new me..Only because of him! He changed me from every cost..I'm really grateful for him in each and every second of my life..He taught me everything about life..He taught me to love faithfully..Not to regret but to cherish even a single happy second of our lives...

He won't understand my love..But because of him now I can be happy as he is my closest friend unlike anyone else in this whole world.... :) I will be always enjoying his company as a close friend of him..Some day he will understand how I feel for him..Until that it's my PRIORITY to wait! We spent our time happily..We went shopping and He was so sweet to gift me a toy dog which I wanted...It will be the most precious thing for me...I have him by me as a guy as a savior....! I can't expect more than that from him..The things he did for me is enough now.... :)

When talking about my school...I schooled last Monday and It was fun,but teachers told me to cut my hair..or to straight it..The worst thing ever! So frustrating,still they think that I have layered my hair..Problem number 1...! The 2nd problem was..We had problems with the subjects regarding periods...Our history teacher compelled us to change Political Science..It was horrible..I have an A for history in each and every exam also for CIVICS...The basic subject of POLITICAL SCIENCE! So how can I change both of them..I can't do so..Also our school is not providing us EUROPEAN HISTORY...! So my parents told me not to school  and to face the exam from private sector..That's what I'm doing now :)

Everything is perfect expect those few couple of things... Everything is going well for god's helps :) Please god keep everything perfect like this as much as possible  

Eyes speak.....when words fail...!

Over time, I've realized
You speak to me. 
With each glance in my direction
With each smile your eyes grace me with
You speak to me loud and clear.
Your eyes tell me it all.
It's undeniable
Eyes watching me. 
Intently 
Directly 
Waiting for my eyes to meet yours.
Hun, your eyes speak to me so strongly. 
I know exactly how you feel. 
How you wish each hug would linger on forever
How you wish my hand would remain in yours.
Your eyes spoke to me
I remained silently stunned with glee
Happily overwhelmed with love. 
Your eyes speak to me
They speak volumes and volumes of love 
Your eyes recite love letter from great men in the past. 
They've become my Napolean and I, their Josephine. 
Voltaire's secret lover and
Shakespeare's midsummer night dream
Your eyes murmur to mine that we are perfection. 
Our relationship was touched by God. 
Your eyes look me up and down and moan that you want me
You need me. 
Your eyes tell me how you yearn for my lips to touch yours. 
How you dream of opening your eyes every morning to me
My smiling face. 
All I'm saying is that your eyes speak to me
And baby, they tell me everything
So don't be afraid to come and get me

   I was about to come out from the hallucination...But each and every time I tried..I FAILED badly.... It doesn't matter now..It's better to live in an ideal world..rather than living in the reality... It's been months and I'm not a newbie to blogger... :) Today my face book fan page Feelings of a lonely heart reached 4000 fans and I'm really happy about that because I did some many things to reach this step... No one helped me except two persons...They know about that and I'm really thankful for them...  :)

My love life is getting worst because...It's good to say nothing about that...Too much words..Hurts too much now..All I know is I love some one badly...Breathtakingly..But he doesn't know that..He is a strong tall guy..and I know him since 6 months and I never felt like that about him before..he was a good friend at the same time I'm sure that he can make a good partner too!!!! But I still can't understand few couple of things regarding him...Because he has had a girl and they have broke up..But unfortunately..she is coming after him again..But he doesn't like her... Also that mad head is afraid of hurting her..But some times I feel that he is just like me..Both of us are afraid of hurting others..So we always try to handle and bear..what ever the situation is...!!!    I never believed in meeting the person in my dreams until I meet him..I had two crushes on two guys..Because they had the features I needed..But this guy is NOT SIMILAR to me..except few things like Silence appreciating...Quick-Tempered and Funny...From the other traits..and habits..he is totally different from me...

 He think a lot before talks..He doesn't talk too much..But if he starts talking he doesn't give up too!! He is so funny..also the best thing is he is rude...! He has a big rude look in his face which I love the most... Also so patient..Unlike the impatient me..He always try to stop me when ever I become curios or nervous..He tries to explain me that it's useless to take fast decisions...everything he explain me becomes true any how..So stupid but sweet :) He is a silent player always :) 

If I love him truly I must understand him..yes I understood him... He needs some time...Then maybe I can tell him the story of my heart..the way i feel..  Today I miss him so badly..I didn't see him from days...Where ever he is..he must be safe and fine :)

Well..except those things..I feel so bore because the ODI series between India and Windies is over now..Also I won't be able to watch my favorite bowler Ashwin for  a long time...He is my favorite bowler since the world cup and I love the way he bowls silently without spitting any bad word unlike the other players...That's what we call disciplined cricket..All must learn from Ashwin..Some times my male friends think that I'm crazy because of liking Ashwin..I just don't understand..why can't I like an Indian player? Is that because all think that India are match fixers...I never think like that because all have created this match-fixing story when ever their favorite team loses.... All have their own favors..So all must respect them :)

Okay it's funny and a common thing FIGHTING FOR CRICKET....!

I'm hell like nervous because I have to school on this coming Monday.A new class..New teachers..New students new subjects new aims and so on..That's tough isn't it..But wish me to get adapt in to 'em soon... :)